Waiting for his text. Feeling like waiting to kill myself. " Where is him ? " My mind keep thinking about it. Maybe he want to focus on his study. But I miss him. Dear ocean, sail me to him. I beg you.
Dear you, don't steal my heart because you don't want to pay for the price. That's illegal. 16 September 2012, our one year friendship. I'm glad to meet him. Wondering how fast the time flies. Oh God, bring me back to 2011. I'm not going to swallow my words unless you make my wish come true, which I believe, will never happen.
Missing you could turn from
pain to pleasure,
if I knew you were
missing me too.
Phone. Always give a lot of problems. Blackberry Internet Service (BIS). CrunchSMS. WhatsApp and so on. NOT RESPONDING. Annoyed. And my sister always tried to bully me. She always said " Throw away your Blackbberry. Kan ibu nak belikan kau Iphone 4s " And I was like - What ? NO WAY. Then she laugh when I'm start sulk with her.
Trials had just ended and I'm very glad it did. I didn't do my best in it. Not putting much effort because I never care to revise anything. I guess this is the life you'll have when you gave up on something that you just don't give a fuck about it anymore. I think about the past and the future and everything that goes along with it.
I can't live in such pressure. I wanted to score my spm, more than anything I'd ever wish for. Everyone felt the same way especially to those who will take a BIG exam in this year. Can I postpone spm ? NO. I can just dreaming about it. 34 days left and great - I don't ready yet. Seriously. Feeling wanna kill myself and sometimes I imagine myself hanging with rope around on my neck. Worse.
Bad result. Sucks. Sorry ayah. Sorry ibu. I can't make you proud of me. But I'm trying to be strong. I don't let my tears streaming down on my face. GO AWAY. Disappear.
You know how school life is like. Heartless. But then it's just high school. Everybody have to bear the existence of those kind of people.
Wearing the hijab had changed me both physically and internally. I can't describe how I really feel. Wearing it with all my heart out, God, I feel so blessed to finally been chosen as one of the billions Muslim out there to find my way back to Allah. Alhamdulillah. Its almost been 9 months I'm wearing it for now.
Someone asked me on form spring about those thing and I answered it. So here we go.
F.R.I.E.N.D - I don't need hypocrite friends. That's all. Be aware. I can be a GOOD friend but also can turns to BAD enemy. Choose either one. Don't try to mess up with me.
C.R.U.S.H - I have a lot. But its just not for real.
B.O.Y.F.R.I.E.N.D - You meant boy- friend ? Kawan lelaki ? Nah. I have a lot. They are just my best friend. They are always beside me. Fyi, I don't have any girl to be my best friend. Unbelievable right ?
F.A.M.I.L.Y - They are my soul. Forever and ever. I love them. As long as they love me back.
Today, 29 SEPTEMBER 2012. Muhammad Zulfadhli's birthday. So, I already text to wish him this morning and I bet he already got it. After that, he called me but luckily I don't heard my phone ringing because on silent. Sorry. I don't want to talk with you. Let bygone be bygone. I moved on. You also did it.
PAYPHONE. Adam is being too sexy in my eyes. HAHA. Kidding. Love to watch The Voice because of him. Love to watch The Glee Project just because of Micheal. Both of them are too cute as Solihin. Tenene.
Going to do some revision for now ( if i didn't fall asleep when doing add math ). So keep in touch with me. Wait for my next post. Adios. Bye <3